The Expendables 3 – What was I thinking?

The-Expendables-3-Cast

The Expendables 3                                                                                                          PG-13                                                                                                                                          126 minutes                                                                                                                        Action, Adventure, Thriller

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kelsey Grammer, Antonio Banderas, Victor Ortiz

It’s an elite group of militants engaged in a covert operation where they watch and defend each other’s back. Their mission is clear – kill the arms trader who is selling massive explosives. Sooo… use explosives to kill the dude who is sharing explosives with others who like explosives. Did I mention this is an action film?

It’s a pretty simply plot. Barney (Slyvester Stallone) is after the arms trader but then he discovers the arms trader is actually Stonebanks (Mel Gibson) who was once head of The Expendables. When Stonebanks turned on the group, Barney (previous film) went after him and killed him or so he thought. Now Barney is faced with killing him again. Yet some of the film makes no sense at all. You see Barney is apparently sort of a softie who remembers the old and good members of The Expendables, even holds onto their dog tags after they’ve died. When he’s afraid this mission could be his last, he replaces his senior members with a younger bunch that’s faster and more tech-savvy for fear his loyal members will be killed. All of this concern for others yet Barney, all The Expendables, Stonebanks and his bundle of thugs have annihilated hundreds – maybe thousands – of innocent people. Just gunned them down as the two sides go after one another. Oh, how lovely. I would bet, the rounds of ammunition shot off in this film would put most combat operations in the Middle East to shame.

The dialogue was really pretty lame, not funny – not intelligent. But there WAS one thing that kept me watching – Who would be the next big action movie “has-been” to appear on screen? First there’s Sly Stallone (Rocky and Rambo) – gotta love that. Then Mel Gibson (Braveheart and Lethal Weapon,) followed by Kelsey Grammer – (ok, there isn’t much action in Cheers but X-Men: The Last Stand there is), Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator, The Predator,) and Harrison Ford (Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark.) I kept thinking Clint Eastwood was going to pop up any minute. Thankfully, Antonio Banderas does arrive and provide some much needed humor with his character’s incessant yammering which plays well accompanied by his Spanish accent. Only problem: it was WAY over done. The joke that just keeps getting played.

It was a two hour action film with about an hour and 45 minutes of action. That definitely makes it an action film. That’s all I got. There’s one group that will really like this film. The group that liked Expendables 2 and the original from 1988.

Arruga! = 1 (It may desensitize you to violence and shootings – just saying.)

Fidget Factor = 1 (Way too long.)

Age Range = 13 and up    (This one is rated PG-13.)

Overall Grade = C

 

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